Tommy Pickles is a monster

I often find myself seized by an obsession: finding clips of television shows that I swear exist.

It’s feels almost like a demon wakes up inside of me and I’m forced to search the internet for the clip. It’s only satiated — only quieted — once I’ve actually found the video.

If I don’t… well I wouldn’t be writing this blog post.

This clip comes from the pilot episode of All Grown Up, a spin off from Nickelodeon’s Rugrats where the characters are older. It’s also an indictment of the show’s once-bald, diaper-wearing protagonist, Tommy Pickles.

Here’s how it goes down:

It starts with Diane Pickles talking to Spike, the family dog, about his diet. She wonders how he continues to gain weight after she’s been so careful with his food, “all these years.”

Spike would be about 12 years old if we assume Tommy is about 1 in the first seasons and around 11 in All Grown Up.

Concerns about the aging dog’s health and weight seem to be a big part of Diane’s daily life. Vet bills are likely high so too is the cost of cooking up food for Spike or buying him specialty food made up of fish, duck, and potato (I own an older dog and this is his diet).

So why is he gaining so much weight despite her best efforts?

You son of a bitch.

That’s about six slices of bacon and guess who Tommy is going to give it to.

Jesus goddamn heck.

Dogs don’t understand what is good for them or bad for them when it comes to food. My dog, if left unchecked, would eat an entire box of tissues if given the chance. They’re smart animals, but totally unaware of nutrition.

Spike is smiling, but another paw is in the grave.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals warns against feeding you dog a high-fat diet. Not only is it generally bad, but it can also lead to a disease called pancreatitis. This inflammation of the pancreas can lead to the organ shutting down ultimately killing the animal.

Older dogs have been shown to progressively put on body fat in spite of consuming fewer calories. This change in body composition is inevitable and may be aggravated by either reduced energy expenditure or a change in metabolic rate. Either way, it is important to feed a diet with a lower caloric density to avoid weight gain, but with a normal protein level to help maintain muscle mass. — from the ASPCA.

So yeah, Tommy is a monster.

However, before totally indicting Tommy as a cruel bastard I will admit to occasionally feeding my dog some human food. Pieces of bread, cheese, and turkey pepperoni are part of his diet, but Spike doesn’t beg. My dog will beg and beg and beg for food until you just have to give in, but Spike seems almost too tired and fat to lift his head.

Feeding your dog human food can be fine so long as you do it with a sense of moderation and back that up with a lot of exercise. Tommy shouldn’t be feeding Spike like that and is doing his favourite bud a real disservice.

Exercise is a big thing and makes your dog really happy.

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